Trust just a little bit longer
Leading a guided, peaceful and expressive life really comes down to two things. First, quiet the mind enough to hear your inner voice, and second, trusting that voice enough to let it direct your actions.
Our inner voice attempts to communicate with us all day, every day. If we listen, this voice will share immense, all-knowing wisdom and love. You can call the source of this knowledge whatever you want - intuition, higher-self, source, God. Labels don't matter. Often this voice comes in the forms of thoughts, hunches, winks, or desires. Have you ever thought that these desires might just be inspired by God? He wants to experience life through us, so don't feel bad for having desires. Soak them up! Feel them. If the thought of something feels good, God wants to experience it. And if God wants to experience something through you, you can bet that He is capable of making it happen. His ways are ingenious, his methods are sure.
Your part in all of this is to follow this intuition and trust that it will arrive in perfect timing. Take a leap of faith, and don't look back. When you plant a seed, you don't dig it up every day wondering if it is growing, right? For me, I know I have a team of Spirit Guides that are leading me to my greatest desires. I KNOW this. I have seen enough evidence. I don't know all the details of the path ahead, but I trust enough to take each step that they suggest. Your Guides want you to lead a most joyous life.
You have tried your way for years. Has it gotten you to where you want to go? Isn't it time to fully trust God's way? Navigating your life in this manner will be the most life-changing thing you have ever done. Trust it.